Forgiveness

I’m still working my way through YOU University and I’m up to Building 7 now, which is all about cleaning up your past, forgiving those who’ve hurt you in the past, and moving on. I’ve been working through this and noticing some pretty powerful stuff.

Then I was totally blindsided by the most profound thing that’s happened in my healing journey so far.

How come such a moment of profundity can occur without my notice?

For those of you who have been following my story, you’d remember I’ve spoken about my adopted mother many times. She is a Sadistic Narcissistic Psychopath – in the true clinical sense. A very damaged personality.

I came to an understanding about my adopted mother. I “unbound” her negative influence over me and removed her ability to cause me any more harm or upset me in any way. It worked. I literally feel nothing for her now. She cannot hurt me any more.

Using the Love Letter tool, I came to a deeper understanding of her and our relationship, and learned of the wonderful gifts that I received from such a damaging childhood. I’m strong, resilient, loving, etc., everything she is not. But at the end of the Love Letter, I realized that I could not forgive or love her. That was okay. I gave it to God. He is strong and all-seeing. He knows her path and is able to forgive the unforgivable things she’d done and said to me over the years. He also could forgive me for not being strong enough or big enough as an ordinary human being to be able to forgive those things. I was at peace with this.

I went on with my lessons, enjoying my new-found freedom.

Within the lessons I was called to look deeper into past relationships, and, of course, that particular relationship was the most profound one of my life – the most damaging. So I looked at it again from a different perspective.

I took the spiritual road. I looked at what it would be like for my mother to have to be such a damaged soul in this lifetime. She is not an old soul. She is relatively inexperienced when it comes to past lives and life experience. This is a tough journey for her. To play this role of psychopath, to tread the path of one who is consumed by hate and bitterness, is not easy. It means you are alone. You have no friends or family as everyone will abandon you. Your only joy in life is to hurt and destroy other people. Eventually, you run out of people. They all stay away. It must be lonely to be trapped inside such a mind. It must be empty to never be able to experience the feelings of love and joy.

Sadness overcomes me when I think of a soul on such a path. I’ve been this person. Actually, I was much worse. I was a man in that particular life and I tortured and killed many people. And, I loved my “work”. I can understand the pain that drives a person to become evil. I can understand the rage that cannot be sated, the hatred that consumes all, the need to make others suffer as you are suffering. It’s sick. It’s twisted. It scars your soul.

My compassion in this life stems from understanding things that some of you are not yet up to understanding. We’re all on our own pathways to enlightenment, and we’re all at different stages.

My soul is ancient, experienced, but I still felt I could not forgive.

Then I realized, as I worked my way through Building 7 of YOU University, that I HAD FORGIVEN her.

When did this happen?

Why had I not noticed?

Had it not been for the powerful tools in YOU University and for my couch, Maia, I would have never learned of this profound happening in my life. I would not have had the tools or knowledge to bring me to this point.

I forgave her. I now feel great compassion for such a damaged soul. I can feel her pain. I’m crying tears for her that she’ll never be able to cry for herself in this life. I feel love and understanding growing where there was no hope.

This is profound on a whole new level. I really can’t describe how I feel at this moment. Enlightened. Sad. Compassionate. Sorry that I can’t heal her soul. Sorry that she and I will not come to know each other as we truly are – not in this lifetime. Grateful that I came to this understanding. Truly grateful and humble to have the true spirit of forgiveness enter my heart.

Forgiveness makes my journey more complete. It makes me as a person more complete. I am so much more than I thought I could be. I am so grateful for this.

My soul sings a new song now. I’ve turned a new corner on my pathway.

Thank you, God. Thank you, Maia. Thank you. Soul Sisters. Thank you, YOU University.

The Ritual Burning

The Ritual Burning

I took my many little pieces of paper on which I'd written fear and then ripped them to shreds. I put those pieces in the fire and let those fears all go up in smoke. They're gone. Unbound.

Like smoke on the wind - transparent and ethereal, insubstantial, inconsequential. I banish fear and negativity. I have no need of them any more.

If I feel a fear prickling at my mind, I take a deep breath and blow it away.

Now I am free. Free from the restraints of fear. Free from the fear of fear. Free from negative thoughts where fear might take root and sprout.

I like this feeling of wholeness, wellness, of confidence. I want to dwell here in this land where all things are possible - where thoughts and ideas manifest and are spun into reality.

Here, I have wings. Here, my plans come to fruition. Here, I can enjoy success. I can prosper. I can grow.

Here, in this land of sunshine and positivity, there are no corners where fear might hide. Fear might knock on the door, or scratch at the window, but it can't enter. Like an uninvited vampire, it cannot go where it is not first invited. Fear will find no invitation at my door this day. Nor any other day.

Up in smoke.

Gone.

Unbound.

I took my many little pieces of paper on which I'd written fear and then ripped them to shreds. I put those pieces in the fire and let those fears all go up in smoke. They're gone. Unbound. Like smoke on the wind - transparent and ethereal, insubstantial, inconsequential. I banish fear and negativity. I have no need of them any more.If I feel a fear prickling at my mind, I take a deep breath and blow it away. Now I am free. Free from the restraints of fear. Free from the fear of fear. Free from negative thoughts where fear might take root and sprout.I like this feeling of wholeness, wellness, of confidence. I want to dwell here in this land where all things are possible - where thoughts and ideas manifest and are spun into reality.Here, I have wings. Here, my plans come to fruition. Here, I can enjoy success. I can prosper. I can grow.Here, in this land of sunshine and positivity, there are no corners where fear might hide. Fear might knock on the door, or scratch at the window, but it can't enter. Like an uninvited vampire, it cannot go where it is not first invited. Fear will find no invitation at my door this day. Nor any other day.Up in smoke.Gone.Unbound.">

Friends with Benefits; Best Way to Create a Lifelong Relationship?

Friends with “Benefits” – Best Way to Create a Lifelong Relationship?

A Solid Decision**

A Solid Decision**

Gifts From God

I know some of the reasons why I go to church. I go for spiritual support. I go to make amends with God through taking the Sacrament. I go to feel connected with Christ. I go to feel connected with people of my faith. I go to teach my children the principles of faith and love. I go to serve others. I go to show my children how to serve others. I go to strengthen our family.

The people in my faith have similar habits. We have our own lingo and we have our clicks. This can be good in supporting each other but it can also create our own little personal bubble. A comfort zone that is impenetrable by the outside world. I remember how weird this new world was when I was first baptized at 22. It seemed like I was an outsider looking in. So many things to learn, so many people to meet. I have to say the transition was easier because I was welcomed with loving arms.

I am blessed to be baptized into this religion later on in life where I can see what new converts are going through. I can sympathize with how "alien" this new world can feel. I can relate to those that have not found Christ and those that have. I can remember what it was like for me before I found my true spiritual side.

What I find truly interesting with all of this is how my life coaching as a career fits into all of this. The group of coaches that I am in a group with are all different religions and in different places spiritually. Yet, I find myself growing in my own faith by associating with them and by learning this skill of life coaching. I really feel that this is such an incredible blessing. I know that I am in the right place and doing the right thing when at the end of the day I feel closer to God and to my true self. Meeting these women, finding my calling, and being able to grow is truly a gift from my Heavenly Father.
I know that being a life coach is my calling in life. I know that I have a special kinship and sensitivity with people from all walks of life. I know that if life and Jesus have taught me anything it is to love all, forgive all and serve all.

Lightworker

Lightworker

I think you've heard me refer to myself, or to someone else as being a "lightworker".

What is a lightworker? Hard to explain.

Lightworkers are angels without wings and halos. We use the energy of the universe to heal the living world and all who dwell upon her. We bring love and light to the darkness of the human soul. We walk where others fear to go. We channel both negative and positive forces through our bodies in order to heal others and to heal the land.

We are the practical, down to earth, hands of the deities.

The Gods send us into darkness - into terrible lives of oppression and pain - so that we can shine our lights for others to see the way forward. We stand at the end of the tunnel and beckon to weary and lost travelers through life. We guard. We guide. We grieve for the losses of the universe and humanity. We cry the tears of the Gods.

We have no wings. We have no halos. We have no special powers. We have only our own inner lights and energies, and love. With those alone, we step into reality and work our tiny little miracles, one day at a time, for one person at a time.

The ant we rescue from the river today is the lion who will save many tomorrow.

I think you've heard me refer to myself as a "lightworker". What is a lightworker? Hard to explain.Lightworkers are angels without wings and halos. We use the energy of the universe to heal the living world and all who dwell upon her. We bring love and light to the darkness of the human soul. We walk where others fear to go. We channel both negative and positive forces through our bodies in order to heal others and to heal the land.

We are the practical, down to earth, hands of the deities.

The Gods send us into darkness - into terrible lives of oppression and pain - so that we can shine our lights for others to see the way forward. We stand at the end of the tunnel and beckon to weary and lost travelers through life. We guard. We guide. We grieve for the losses of the universe and humanity. We cry the tears of the Gods.

We have no wings. We have no halos. We have no special powers. We have only our own inner lights and energies, and love. With those alone, we step into reality and work our tiny little miracles, one day at a time, for one person at a time.

The ant we rescue from the river today is the lion who will save many tomorrow."

Winter Has Arrived

    Well, there's no denying that winter has finally arrived and the temperatures have dropped dramatically.

    No more t-shirts and tank tops. Now, it's jumpers and long sleeved shirts, coats, gloves...

    One thing I do love about winter, though, is its energy.

    Winter energy is crisp and sharp. It has a vibrancy about it. Auras of trees and earthy entities are strong and clear in the winter air. It is easy for me to see the rivers of energy running through Glenloth when I look out over the stark, white, frosty paddocks.

    There's a shift in color here too. The muted moods of autumn have given way to bright contrasts. The sun is brighter, the shadows deeper. Bejewelled spider webs adorn rusty barbed wire fences and bare tree branches. Life force, seeming to slow and mellow in autumn, far from sleeps in winter. It flashes its brilliance wherever you look. A bright bird here or there, sparks of light over the water, rainbows within dew drops and icicles, pretty, sparkling frost. It all seems so alive.

    I can't help but be caught up in the wonder of it all.